Kushboo Sundar/ Khushboo
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| + | [https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/why-i-spoke-about-being-abused-by-my-father/articleshow/98698479.cms Bhavika Jain, March 16, 2023: ''The Times of India''] | ||
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| + | '' In an interview with TOI+, the actor and National Commission for Women member speaks about facing physical and mental abuse from her father at the age of eight and why victim shaming needs to end '' | ||
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| + | Earlier this month, Khushbu Sundar made headlines when she spoke about how she was sexually abused by her father at the age of eight. The actor and National Commission for Women (NCW) member, while appearing for the ‘We The Women’ town hall organised by Mojo Story in Jaipur recently, said it was the “toughest thing… to put it behind me and move forward”. | ||
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| + | Days after she made the revelations, Khushbu tells TOI+ that the support she has received has been overwhelming. “People who I don't know have texted me, emailed me and even supported me on social media. They have come forward to provide support and said that these things need to be spoken about." | ||
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| + | At the event, Khushbu said that she faced physical and mental abuse from her father for almost seven years. At age 15, she gathered the courage to tell her mother about what she was going through, that’s when the family intervened and helped sever ties with her father. | ||
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| + | "It's been 36 years since. The wounds have healed, but the scars won't go away,” Khushbu tells us over the phone. “Our society still thinks it's the woman's fault [in abuse cases] — how can it be an eight-year-olds fault? This pre-conditioned, judgmental mindset needs to change.” Khushbu’s revelations have drawn much-needed attention to the issue of sexual abuse, especially by an immediate family member.
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| + | ''' Childhood scars ''' | ||
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Khushbu is the youngest in her family; she has three elder siblings. As far back as she can remember, things were never okay between her father and her. “I have always thought I had a single parent,” she says. “It's not easy for a child [to think like that]. Almost every girl child grows up with the belief that her father is a hero. He is often the first man she falls in love with. He is also the first man she sees as her superhero. But mine was a villain.” | ||
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According to her, he always treated her like an invalid. “When I was born, he didn’t even come to see me in the hospital for three days, just because I was a girl,” she says. | ||
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| + | There was always violence at home. She would routinely see her mother and brothers get beaten up by him. “My father threatened me that if I spoke to anyone [about what he did to me], he would torture my mother and brothers even more,” she says. “When I turned 15, I decided to put a full stop to it. I told my mother about him and fortunately, she stood by me.” | ||
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But her troubles did not come to an end the day her father left home. “I was just starting my second Telugu film,” says the 52-year-old actor, who started her career in the 1980s. “My first film had not been released by then. Since my father managed my finances because I was a minor, he took all the money I was owed from the producers. We were left with nothing. We lived in a rented house. I didn't know where my next meal would come from. It was one of the toughest phases of my life.” | ||
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Khushbu says that her father wanted her to come to him begging for forgiveness and to take the family back. But there was no chance of that. According to her, it has been 36 years since she last saw him. Last year she was informed that he had died. “Good riddance, that’s what we thought,” she says. | ||
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| + | ''' Nothing to be ashamed about ''' | ||
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Even though it has been over three-and-a-half decades since she was abused, Khushboo says that part of her life continues to haunt her. “I didn't plan to talk about my childhood trauma (at the event),” she says. “I spoke more from the point of view of a mother of two daughters. I wanted to tell these young children that you don't have to go through what I have been through.”
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| + | How did she manage to cope all these years? “We always have a choice. I chose a path to take me right to the top,” she says. “I did not wallow or fall into an emotional trap. I gathered courage from all that I had been through to prove myself.” | ||
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She says that her optimism and positive outlook helped soar her spirits. “There is no reason for a victim to feel ashamed of what they have been through,” she says. “It is not your fault. It is the perpetrator who needs to be ashamed and they must all be shamed.” | ||
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| + | By speaking about her traumatic childhood, Khushbu wants to draw attention to the issue of abuse that is not only rampant but also highly stigmatised. According to the National Crime Records Bureau's Crimes in India 2021 report, in 97.1% of all reported child sexual abuse cases, the offender is known to the child. In 2,885 of the 33,848 reported cases, the children were abused by an immediate family member. While the number of reported cases is staggering, the number of unreported cases is even higher. | ||
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“Either there is blackmail by the perpetrator, or there is somebody in the family who insists on covering up, somehow it’s always the woman’s fault,” says Khushbu. “In almost all cases, she is the one who must answer — what did you do to make this happen? What kind of clothes were you wearing?” | ||
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According to her, the family needs to stand by the victim and provide comfort and backing at all costs. “The only reason victims open up to their family is when they feel that they're going to find a support system,” she says. | ||
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Stressing on the fact that despite there being several stringent laws in place to handle child abuse cases — and the support that institutions like the NCW help provide — Khushbu says that victims have to be brave to step forward and register a case. | ||
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“We cannot take a suo motu complaint all the time. If we have a case, and tomorrow the victim backtracks, there is very little we can do. The victim has to stand by us,” says Khushbu. “You must understand that if you don't speak up, your abuser is not going to stop. He will abuse others. If you remain quiet, it will only embolden him to continue.” | ||
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==Life and career== | ==Life and career== | ||
'''Sources include ''' | '''Sources include ''' | ||
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Kushboo Sundar lives in Chennai with her actor-director husband Sundar C and two daughters. | Kushboo Sundar lives in Chennai with her actor-director husband Sundar C and two daughters. | ||
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| + | KUSHBOO SUNDAR]] | ||
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[[Category:Cinema-TV-Pop|KKUSHBOOKUSHBOOKUSHBOO SUNDAR | [[Category:Cinema-TV-Pop|KKUSHBOOKUSHBOOKUSHBOO SUNDAR | ||
Revision as of 10:58, 20 March 2023
There is no standard, official spelling of the actress' name. We have adopted the one used most frequently by The Hindu
This is a collection of articles archived for the excellence of their content. Readers will be able to edit existing articles and post new articles directly |
Contents |
Kushboo/ Khushboo
An abused childhood
Bhavika Jain, March 16, 2023: The Times of India
In an interview with TOI+, the actor and National Commission for Women member speaks about facing physical and mental abuse from her father at the age of eight and why victim shaming needs to end
Earlier this month, Khushbu Sundar made headlines when she spoke about how she was sexually abused by her father at the age of eight. The actor and National Commission for Women (NCW) member, while appearing for the ‘We The Women’ town hall organised by Mojo Story in Jaipur recently, said it was the “toughest thing… to put it behind me and move forward”.
Days after she made the revelations, Khushbu tells TOI+ that the support she has received has been overwhelming. “People who I don't know have texted me, emailed me and even supported me on social media. They have come forward to provide support and said that these things need to be spoken about."
At the event, Khushbu said that she faced physical and mental abuse from her father for almost seven years. At age 15, she gathered the courage to tell her mother about what she was going through, that’s when the family intervened and helped sever ties with her father.
"It's been 36 years since. The wounds have healed, but the scars won't go away,” Khushbu tells us over the phone. “Our society still thinks it's the woman's fault [in abuse cases] — how can it be an eight-year-olds fault? This pre-conditioned, judgmental mindset needs to change.” Khushbu’s revelations have drawn much-needed attention to the issue of sexual abuse, especially by an immediate family member.
Childhood scars
Khushbu is the youngest in her family; she has three elder siblings. As far back as she can remember, things were never okay between her father and her. “I have always thought I had a single parent,” she says. “It's not easy for a child [to think like that]. Almost every girl child grows up with the belief that her father is a hero. He is often the first man she falls in love with. He is also the first man she sees as her superhero. But mine was a villain.”
According to her, he always treated her like an invalid. “When I was born, he didn’t even come to see me in the hospital for three days, just because I was a girl,” she says.
There was always violence at home. She would routinely see her mother and brothers get beaten up by him. “My father threatened me that if I spoke to anyone [about what he did to me], he would torture my mother and brothers even more,” she says. “When I turned 15, I decided to put a full stop to it. I told my mother about him and fortunately, she stood by me.”
But her troubles did not come to an end the day her father left home. “I was just starting my second Telugu film,” says the 52-year-old actor, who started her career in the 1980s. “My first film had not been released by then. Since my father managed my finances because I was a minor, he took all the money I was owed from the producers. We were left with nothing. We lived in a rented house. I didn't know where my next meal would come from. It was one of the toughest phases of my life.”
Khushbu says that her father wanted her to come to him begging for forgiveness and to take the family back. But there was no chance of that. According to her, it has been 36 years since she last saw him. Last year she was informed that he had died. “Good riddance, that’s what we thought,” she says.
Nothing to be ashamed about
Even though it has been over three-and-a-half decades since she was abused, Khushboo says that part of her life continues to haunt her. “I didn't plan to talk about my childhood trauma (at the event),” she says. “I spoke more from the point of view of a mother of two daughters. I wanted to tell these young children that you don't have to go through what I have been through.”
How did she manage to cope all these years? “We always have a choice. I chose a path to take me right to the top,” she says. “I did not wallow or fall into an emotional trap. I gathered courage from all that I had been through to prove myself.” She says that her optimism and positive outlook helped soar her spirits. “There is no reason for a victim to feel ashamed of what they have been through,” she says. “It is not your fault. It is the perpetrator who needs to be ashamed and they must all be shamed.”
By speaking about her traumatic childhood, Khushbu wants to draw attention to the issue of abuse that is not only rampant but also highly stigmatised. According to the National Crime Records Bureau's Crimes in India 2021 report, in 97.1% of all reported child sexual abuse cases, the offender is known to the child. In 2,885 of the 33,848 reported cases, the children were abused by an immediate family member. While the number of reported cases is staggering, the number of unreported cases is even higher.
“Either there is blackmail by the perpetrator, or there is somebody in the family who insists on covering up, somehow it’s always the woman’s fault,” says Khushbu. “In almost all cases, she is the one who must answer — what did you do to make this happen? What kind of clothes were you wearing?”
According to her, the family needs to stand by the victim and provide comfort and backing at all costs. “The only reason victims open up to their family is when they feel that they're going to find a support system,” she says.
Stressing on the fact that despite there being several stringent laws in place to handle child abuse cases — and the support that institutions like the NCW help provide — Khushbu says that victims have to be brave to step forward and register a case. “We cannot take a suo motu complaint all the time. If we have a case, and tomorrow the victim backtracks, there is very little we can do. The victim has to stand by us,” says Khushbu. “You must understand that if you don't speak up, your abuser is not going to stop. He will abuse others. If you remain quiet, it will only embolden him to continue.”
Life and career
Sources include NDTV
Till her views on pre-marital sex (See Private lives of Indian (Mumbai) stars )became controversial and effigies were burnt, Kushboo had been best known for, well, being wildly popular. Fans built a temple for her in Tiruchirapalli. There was a Kushboo Idli and the Kushboo Saree.
The temple was demolished after she made that comment about pre-marital sex and AIDS in 2005. Political parties got into the fray too and she was forced to make a public apology. Alongside came the cases and the almost five-year-long legal battle.
Born Naggarth Khan [Kushboo Khan] on September 19,1970 in Bombay, the actor saw early success as a child artist in Bollywood, acting in successful films like Thodisi Bewafaii and the Amitabh- Bachchan-starrers Laawaris and Kaalia.
She received accolades for her role as a 12-year-old stricken with cancer in Dard ka Rishta and later set feet tapping when she danced with a young Javed Jaffrey to "Bol Baby Bol, Rock and Roll" in Meri Jung. But there were few takers for the grown-up Kushboo in Bollywood and she turned to Tamil films.
She has since acted in over a 100 films in Bollywood and in the Southern film industries, and was the heartthrob of Tamil cinema in the 1990s.
Kushboo acted in Varsham Padhinaru with Karthik, Vetrivizha and Chinna Thambi with Prabhu (Sivaji Ganesan's son) Annamalai with Rajinikanth and Singaravelan with Kamal Haasan.
She has also had success on television. She hosts a popular game show 'Jackpot' on Jaya TV, besides acting in a few Tamil serials and owns a production house.
Kushboo Sundar lives in Chennai with her actor-director husband Sundar C and two daughters.
Political involvement
In a nutshell
By FPJ Web Desk
Films
Born on September 29, 1970, Khushbu started her career as a child artist in the Hindi film 'The Burning Train' (1980). She was also a part of Hindi films 'Naseeb', 'Laawaris', 'Kaalia', 'Dard Ka Rishta' and Bemisal as a child artist. Later, in 1985, she starred opposite Jackie Shroff in 'Jaanoo'. She also played an important role in 1990's 'Deewana Mujh Sa Nahin', which starred Aamir Khan and Madhuri Dixit.
However, Khushbu mainly acted in Tamil films and became a leading actress in the industry. She has also acted in Malayalam, Kannada and Telugu films. The 50-year-old has acted in over 200 films in her career. During her career, she has appeared opposite top actors such as Rajinikanth, Kamal Hassan, Chiranjeevi and others. Her popularity was such that a temple was dedicated to her by her fans.
Politics
She joined the DMK in 2010 and left the party in 2014. Later, on November 26, 2014, after meeting with Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi, she joined the Congress party. Currently, she is an AICC member and the National Spokesperson of the party.
Oct 2020: The Hindu's Political Editor Nistula Hebbar wrote, "A Tamil Nadu related joining in @BJP4India is expected tomorrow afternoon! Guesses welcome!!!" "Tamil Channels flashing actress Kushboo joining BJP leaving Congress," added The Pioneer's J Gopikrishnan. He further went on to add that this will be her third political party. Khusbu Sundar was in Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam (DMK) from 2010 to 2014 before joining Congress.
Khushbu Sundar was in the news recently after she welcomed Modi Government's New Education Policy 2020. Her view was contrary to the party’s official stance on the policy. Later, she apologized to party leader Rahul Gandhi for her differing stand. However, the actor-politician insisted she "rather speak the fact than be a head nodding robot or a puppet".
“My stand on NEP 2020 differs from my party n I apologize to RahulGandhi ji for that, but I rather speak the fact than be a head nodding robot or a puppet. Everything is n cannot be about agreeing to ur leader, but about being courages (sic) to voice ur opinion bravely as a citizen," she added.
Due to her differing stand, Congress's state unit hit out at her, saying it was "indiscipline" and that the grand old party was ready to discuss "any controversial" matters in its forums. Speculation was then rife of her shift to BJP, however, Khushbu Sundar cleared the air and tweeted, "Sanghis can relax, pls do not rejoice. I am not moving to BJP. My opinion might be different from my party but I am an individual with a thinking mind of my own. Yes, #NEP2020 is flayed n flawed at some places, but I still feel we can look at the change with a positivity (sic).”
2016: Quits DMK, joins Congress
Inspired by Congress early: Khushboo | APRIL 09, 2016 | The Hindu
The actor-politician says the party worked for a unified India without resorting to "colour" or "caste."
Setting herself firmly against ‘saffronisation,’ actor-politician Khushboo said she definitely joined the Congress for her “sensibilities” and for a secular country.
In her “homecoming” speech at the TNCC headquarters here on Saturday, the actor said only the Congress worked for a unified India without resorting to “colour” or “caste.”
Stating that she continued to be a Muslim , Ms. Kushboo added that she was inspired by the Congress very early in life and would never accept ‘saffronisation.’ Five years ago, she chose the wrong path and lost her way. But, this was definitely a homecoming.
Ms. Khushboo was unwilling to talk about why she quit the DMK for which she was a star campaigner. “No one needs to know why I quit,” she said, refusing to even compare the DMK and the Congress. Like any other Congress leader, she said she would abide by the directions of the party high-command.
While she claimed that she was not interested in party posts, TNCC president EVKS Elangovan said both Congress president Sonia Gandhi and vice-president Rahul Gandhi were very happy to welcome Ms. Khushboo to the party. “She will certainly play a role at the national level. In fact, Mr. Rahul Gandhi complemented Ms. Kushboo on her intelligence,” Mr. Elangovan said.
For her part, Ms. Khushboo said she was in for the long haul and would work at the grassroots level to improve the prospects of the party. She said the UPA had been helpful to the Sri Lankan Tamils and reaffirmed that the Congress was only against terror outfits, particularly the LTTE.
2017: Passport renewal denied
Manish Raj, Officials refuse to renew Khushbu passport Jan 07 2017 : The Times of India
Citing three “criminal“ cases registered against actor-politician Khushbu during her election campaigns, the regional passport office in Chennai has refused to issue her a new passport book. Crying foul and pointing out that all the cases were poll-related, and that she had either got them stayed by the high court, Khushbu has now approached the Madras HC for a direction to passport officials to issue her a fresh passport book. She said her passport was val id till 2022 and that a fresh book was re quired since all its pages were stamped and there was no space left. Khushbu said due to her frequent for eign trips her passport pages were full. The Passport Seva Kendra at Aminjikarai informed her that there were “criminal“ cases registered against her by the Andipatti police in Theni district during electioneering and said her passport could not be renewed.
2018: Changes name to NAKHAT KHAN
The famous actor recently changed her name on Twitter, where her social media identity now reads as ‘khushbusundar..and it’s NAKHAT KHAN for the BJP..’
Not too long ago, the actor, who’s now a national spokesperson for the Congress party, had tweeted stating how she was a ‘born Muslim’ would ‘die as one.’ She had said, “i am a born muslim n will die as one..i will never change it bcoz it does not matter..i don’t live by the rule of religion..i live by the rule of compassion,humanity,equal rights for all,empowerment;especially women,harmony,diversity n happiness..BJP has different rules i suppose. (sic)”
On Thursday, Khushbu began to face incessant trolling on social media, all over again. One user likened her decision to highlight her Muslim name to cheap theatrics (nautanki). The user wrote, “Great! Point is why the hell did she agree to be addressed as Khusboo in the first place. Tabu or Shabana and many others didn’t have to do this nautanki.”
Pat came Khushbu’s reply. She wrote, “nautanki ke director..do you think an 8yr old could foresee that in 2018 losers n paid trolls of BJP will find an objection to my name n me being a muslim or a hindu or a christian? all this nautanki happens only under #Modi rule. kuch baat gayee bheje mein?? (sic)”
Khushbu found plenty of support from her Congress colleagues, who endorsed her decision to display her Muslim name.
She’s has been a fierce critic of the divisive politics played by the supporters of the saffron brigade in India. Her one such criticism was earlier this month, when she mocked the Madhya Pradesh government’s for according cabinet rank to five Hindu babas.
নীলসুনীল (@_trunils) tweeted on April 6, 2018 ‘Spokesperson of Congress, Nakhat Khan, using Hindu name Khushbu Sundar to fool others, insulting Hinduism, mocking sacred Naga Sadhus. Liberals say, “Indian minorities are living in fear” but the minorities are insulting majority’s sentiments continuously. ‘
(But Khushbu, too, is a ‘Muslim’ i.e. Persian name!)
2020: Kushbu quits Congress & joins BJP
The Times of India| 14 Oct 2020
Congress spokesperson and party’s known face from Tamil Nadu Khushbu Sundar joined BJP.
Earlier in the day, she sent her resignation as primary member of Congress to party chief Sonia Gandhi.
Filmography
Child roles, as Baby Khushboo
1980 The Burning Train
1980 Thodisi Bewafaii
1981 Aapas Ki Baat
1981 Kaalia
1981 Laawaris
1981 Poonam
1982 Bemisal
1982 Dard Ka Rishta
1983 Dharti Aakash (telefilm)
As a teenager, and later
1985 Jaanoo
1985 Meri Jung
1985 Sautela Pati
1986 Captain Nagarjuna
1986 Kaliyuga Pandavulu
1986 Patton Ki Bazi
1986 Tan-Badan
1987 Kirayi Dada
1987 Raudi the Super Hero
1987 Vetri Vizha
1988 Dharmathin Thalaivan
1988 Prema Kiritam
1988 Ranadheera
1989 Varusham Padhinaaru
1989 Yuga Purusha
1990 Deewana Mujh Sa Nahin
1990 Kizhakku Vasal
1990 Nadigan
1991 Brahma
1991 Chinna Thambi
1991 Michael Madana Kamarajan
1991 Nattukku Oru Nallavan
1991 Shanti Kranti
1991 Uncle Bun
1992 Annamalai
1992 Captain Magal
1992 Jathi Malli
1992 Mannan
1992 Pandian
1992 Prem Daan
1992 Singaaravelan
1993 Kaathirukka Neramillai
1993 Yaadhavam
1994 Manathe Kottaram
1994 Vanaja Girija
1995 Chinna Vathiyar
1995 Nattupura Pattu
1995 Vrudhanmare Sookshikkuka
1996 Irattai Roja
1997 Anubhoothi
1997 Thambi Durai
1998 Elavamkodu Desam
1998 Kalyana Galatta
1998 Kanoon Ka Khiladi
1998 Malabar Police
1999 Independence
1999 Ponnu Veetukkaran
1999 Stalin Sivadas
1999 Suyamvaram
2000 Alai Payuthey
2005 Chandrolsavam
2005 June R
2005 Navarasa
2006 Stalin: Man for the Society
2006 The Veil (Short)
2007 Kayyoppu
2007 Yamadonga
2008 Kuselan
2008 Magic Lamp
2008 Pazhani
2009 Villu
2010 Illangyan
2010 Pranchiyettan and the Saint
